Well hello there…
Going out on a wild limb here and guessing that there’s been a not inconsiderable increase in readers of the Mumford & Sons website in recent months – this can only mean one of two things; The Sons’ bluegrass-tinged pop-stylings have swum the rising rapids of the mainstream and found fans as far-a-field as the foreign lands of France (seems unlikely, let’s be honest, they’re no Vagner), or the hordes have been drawn to these pages by the mythical comedy musings of Mumford HQ (factually correct*. Holla at ya boi).
Since last I wrote, Mumf & Co. have traversed the globe, winning hearts et minds, collecting stacks of coppers like Birdman and dropping mad coin on all the classic rock ‘n’ roll excesses, like board games for orphans. The band’s management however, wisely took their magic beans and invested in a blog-chomping Word Cow in an apparent push for quality control on the website.
The Word Cow is fed on a strict diet of website waffle; it’s one monstrous stomach and four compartments acting as a highly evolved editigestive system. One separates and absorbs the enriching elements of the waffle, while another repeatedly regurgitates and re-chews the incomprehensible cud making it both nutritious and delicious. The Vincent Benedict then travels through the remaining heifer highway before being unceremoniously – and literally – dumped out the back door.
That’s me. That’s what you’re reading right now, sorry. Unfortunately Universal caught wind of the sacred bovine and immediately despatched the flying monkeys to secure the juicy Julius Benedict for use on Cheryl Cole’s site, so for this news item at least, you’re blessed with me words. Essentially, the poo.
Moral: A cow can’t change it’s spots. Think that’s right…
Fortunately, a leopard can. And so we, being the mighty cat of the World Wide Jungle-Web that we are, are doing just that – changing our spots. Or rather what is technically known as a ‘skin’.
The official Mumford & Sons website is undergoing a re-design! TRES BIEN!
I have seen the future and it is all things bright and beautiful! Stay tuned, all will be revealed very soon…
To celebrate the site’s relaunch, we will be making available for the very first time online, the much sought-after Wedding Band EP! A wonderful selection of songs performed by The Sons and friends, and previously only available at live European shows, this black frisbee is super special and super limited kids, so be quick, soon as you see that new official online store launch, lickity-split click, click, click.
Excuse me, what? Online store you say!?
Indeed I do say!
The official Mumford & Sons webstore is readying to go live! C’EST ETONNANT!
Shipping WORLDWIDE and dealing in dem sterling, euro and US dollarz, the online store will be stocked with T-shirts, bags, hats and cats (not cats)… Basically bursting with fantastic new OFFICIAL merchandise!
<3
M&S HQ
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*No actual facts were harmed in the making of this lie